Why Cats Do Not Make Good Pets

Artificial Selection converts the nasty, bestial and dangerous into cute, cuddly and delicious.  When it comes to cultivating desired qualities, Artificial Selection rivals the most powerful forces of evolution itself, transforming the raw materials of life into a stunning variety of domestic plants and animals.  All at a pace that leaves Natural Selection coughing in the dust of our herds of Jersey Cows, English Bulldogs, Rhode Island Reds and Angora Rabbits.

Chief among the qualities that unite our domestic minions is a trend known as Pedomorphosis, which occurs when adult organisms retain traits that are usually found only in their young.  The adorable apple heads of chihuahuas are an example of such a physical trait. Pedomorphosis can also apply to behavior, as well.  In fact, the physical pedomorphic traits are primarily the result of selection for desired juvenile behaviors.  As it turns out, the genes that control behavior are closely linked to those that shape anatomy.  

As a result, selecting playful, docile, adaptable and friendly behaviors in the animals we bred over thousands of years has dragged along a host of physical traits as well.  Floppy ears, round heads, large eyes, colorful coats and curly or shortened tails are pedomorphic traits that many or most domestic animal share.  

We even see pedomorphic behaviors and physical features in human beings, begging the question did humans evolve by domesticating themselves?

The traits we love (and share with) our dogs are easy to understand.  They remain playful even into old age; they have endearing youthful features that elicit our basic instincts to mother them incessantly; They submit to us readily and follow us like little pups.  As a result, we find dogs trustworthy and loyal companions, despite that their closest kin, the wolves, present a serious danger in close quarters.

The same can be said of our many other domestic friends.  Selection for desirable, juvenile behaviors necessary for our coexistence results in juvenile traits that alter their physical appearances and make man-made varieties obviously different from their wild cousins.

But what of our feline friends?  Surely they have been thoroughly changed as well.  It appears that the benefits of Artificial Selection have been exacted to a lesser degree in cats.  Cats show few if any pedomorphic behaviors, and many a new cat owner has lamented that the cute, friendly, playful kitten they obtained is now a sleek, aloof and lazy adult cat.  So it would seem that cats may have stubbornly refused to follow the typical road to life with human beings.

This brings us to a final question to ponder: Why do we keep cats at all?  If humans have not wielded the tools of Artificial Selection to perfect the feline according to our standards, how is it that cats have become more popular than the variety of domestic dogs, each of which has been meticulously sculpted to fulfill a specific role in our busy lives?

Have cats somehow escaped our notice and thus our genetic tampering?  Or were cats, even in their wild state, simply right for niche they fill?  My answer to this question will be revealed in tomorrow's blog entry.  And we'll see that their successful invasion of our homes relies on three simple traits and a whole lot of charm.

Why We Enjoy the Company of Cats Not Vice Versa

To any cat owner it will come as no surprise to find that our cuddly house pets are in behavior and appearance more like wild animals than most other domesticated creatures.  The average domesticated animal, from pigs to dogs, has be radically changed to suit human interests.  We select for tamer, more docile behaviors.  Or more appealing physical traits such as meatier limbs or shorter tails.  And yet the cat remains relatively unchanged.

Cats display a willfulness and independence that clearly exemplify their self-sustainability.  They can be aloof, often refusing human contact except when it pleases them.  Many stubbornly refuse to be trained, as if the mundanity of learning simple tricks were well beneath them.  Observe a cat stalk and kill a lizard in the garden, and you will see a striking likeness to the deadly hunt of a lion.  Though we have modified coat color and length, the bone structure and physique of the cat remain indistinguishable from their wild, uncivilized cousins.

In part, the untamed nature of a cat has to do with the relatively short time they have lived with humans.  Our relationship with felines goes back only 10,000 years or so (half as long as their imminently placating competitor the dog).  There has been less time for humans to work the magic of artificial selection on the body and temperament of the cat.

Another factor aiding the cat's ability to resist change comes from the nature of its relationship to its captors.  Some scientists argue that the term "domestic" does not easily apply to the cat. They consider cats to be "exploitive captives" who exploit their relationship with humans rather than suffering from it.  

The origin of our relationship with cats has its roots in the cultivation of grain and other crops, and it is tied directly to the hosts of pests who make their living in our silos and pantries.  Cats came by human habitations to capitalize on the plagues of rodents infesting our villages. Because both parties benefit from such an arrangement, our relationship has persisted relatively unchanged even into modern time.  In fact, cats have so effectively upheld their end of the bargain, that humans have not seen fit to seek more of our feline friends, and so are content to accept their wily and untamed natures as they are. 

As a result, when left to their own devices cats revert quickly to their wild state, often forming large populations that sustain themselves without help from humans.  Ever get that look of irritated indifference from your cat?  Now you know why.

Why Cats Matter

Yesterday I made an offhanded remark that raised the hackles of a friend and co-worker.  In a discussion about the nature and value of domestic felines, I insensitively said, "Cats don't give a damn about humans."

While I still hold to the general principle of this statement, I now realize that there is something to be said for tact and decorum.  This blog serves as an apology to my friend, who to preserve his anonymity shall be called Geoff Myers in this blog. (That's Geoff not Jeff, Myers not Meyers)

The reason my comments rubbed Geoff the wrong way, so to speak, is that Geoff tells a remarkable story of a profound bond between himself and one of his pet cats.  My remarks not only trivialized this relationship, but also eroded the foundation for explaining the details of his story.

Geoff recalls a night a few years back when he was awakened when his pet cat bit him painfully on the arm.  Now, I know what you're thinking: What a stupid story.  And I agree, but there are more details to consider.  Geoff did what any cat owner would do when his pet wakes him up in the middle of the night by biting him.  Geoff tossed the cat to the floor and went back to sleep.

That's when the cat did something unexpected--he bit Geoff again and woke him up.  Again, I know what you're thinking: This story just got a little stupider.  And again, you're right.  But consider the following: this time Geoff noticed something unusual about his kitchen.  

It was on fire.

Geoff grabbed his pet and escaped with his, and his cat's nine lives.  So you can see why my remarks were enough to cause Geoff to bristle like a... well... like a cat on Halloween.   This is an obvious story of a common house pet showing uncommon concern for its owner.

As penance for my sins, I hereby dedicate this week to Geoff's and other cats.  Each day this week, I will publish a post that demonstrates the following: 1) The unique and interesting history of the domestication of the cat, 2) How the natural history of the cat makes it an unlikely companion for humans, and 3) How, with the help of a few simple virtues and a lot of charm, cats were able to overcome their disagreeable natures and become the most popular pet in America

The point of these little essays will be to demonstrate, that far from denigrating Geoff's relationship with his cat, my comments only serve to highlight the remarkable nature of Geoff's fury feline friend.  It's not in a cat's nature to be brave, compassionate, social or altruistic.  But from a certain perspective, Geoff's cat was able to rise to occasion despite all this.  It is a story of a good friend overcoming his own catty nature to save a person's life.

As such, it is a lesson for us all and a beacon of no small hope.

Sunday School--The Ocean Sunfish

The Ocean Sunfish (Mola mola) has to be one of the strangest fish in the world. It's huge, flat body without an obvious tail make it appear unrelated to other, more familiar fish species.  But taxonomist place the Ocean Sunfish in the order Tetraodaontiformes, which includes pufferfish.

When compared with the typical puffers such as the figure-eight puffer, commonly found in pet stores, it is difficult to find obvious similarities.  The figure-eight puffer has a round, chubby body, a longer tail.  The Ocean Sunfish is flattened along its vertical access and displays a great degree of symmetry along its horizontal access giving the top and bottom halves a mirror image appearance.

But when compared to another puffer species, the bronze puffer, the similarities are more evident.  The bronze puffer is more laterally compressed than the figure-eight puffer, and shows a much greater degree of symmetry in the dorsal and anal fins.

Other features of the Ocean Sunfish also indicate its close affinity with puffers.  The structure of the mouth is one example.  The larvae of fish from both groups are also very similar.

Mice with Stuffy Noses--A Medical Breakthrough?

This article describes the latest in perverse, "Frankensteinian" abuse of adorable living things by scientist.  But this time there's a twist--scientists have finally made an abomination of nature specifically for people like me.  For years I have suffered the debilitating effects of chronic sinusitis due to a little extra flab in my nasal passages.  

These little mice are genetically engineered to function as model organisms with chronic sinus problems so that scientists can better understand the causes and potential treatment of this common condition.