Reflections After a Night in the ER

The following is a tenderly worded poem that I have written for my wife following her recent trip to the emergency room.  Luckily, the event had a happy ending, but I find it is always important to reflect on these frightening experiences and so learn about our deep connections.

My Dear Wife,

Last night you work me up 

From a deep sleep that I had been looking forward to all day.

But I didn't mind.  

I figured that you were looking for a little fun.

It turned out that you were crying and in pain

Because a sharp two millimeter solid concretion 

Was lodged in your urinary tract.

As we spent the next few hours in the hospital

I began to think about how little time we truly spend together.

And how I usually forget to do the simple tasks you ask me to do

Because I don't take them seriously.

By the way,

I'll hang up that hook for your robe

in the bathroom this weekend,

I promise.

The pain made you nauseous and you threw up.

I had to leave because I am a sympathetic vomiter,

And I would have made twice the mess otherwise.

And then they drew blood, 

Which made me queasy.

And when you were moaning in pain,

That kind of creeped me out,

So I said, "Let's watch the Conan O'brien show."

When the doctor came back to tell you

That you were going to be fine,

And we could go home,

I was relieved.

This is the first trip we ever made to the hospital

That did not result directly in another kid.

I want you to know

That I will try my best not to take you for granted,

Like I have in the past.

And I'll try my hardest not to seduce you

With my irresistible charm,

Because you seem pretty tired

And could use a rest.